Version 1- Draft Version:

Profile Introduction:

My name is Garima Malik and I am a PGDM- International Business student from Hyderabad and as an International business student, I have a great interest in Linguistics.
During my Bachelor degree and 2nd trimester I had the opportunity to learn French and learning French inspired me to learn more languages as they provide me with the opportunities to understand different cultures and societies, which is a great thing for a curious individual like me.
 
Version 2 - Corrected version:
 
Grammatical errors- 0
Omissions- 0
Total time- 9 minutes


Version 1- Draft Version:

Career Goals:

Firstly I would like to start with a Quote: " No matter how great you are you never know your destiny".
As I believe in this quote I thought it would be nice to start with this. Now about my academic background: I am a BBA graduate in Marketing from IITM, New Delhi and right now I am pursuing my Post Graduation from IPE, Hyderabad in International Business with the dual specialization in Operations and Marketing. As a fresher firstly I would like to gain some experience in the above-mentioned fields (Operations and Marketing) to get the about" So that's how it's done/works" because I am a person who learns from doing things than just learn the definitions of the things.
Secondly, I would like to choose the desired field in which I really want to work in a professional front which will match the qualities and qualifications I have. 
The third step would be to work with the professionals who can help me grow in the field and motivate me to move forward then just stuck in a place for the rest of my life.
Fourth and the most important is the " IMPLEMENTATION". Right now I am pursuing my Post graduation as per the plan and would like to get an opportunity to work in the fields of Marketing(Creativity) and Operations for the rest of my life and I am really excited to work with the Modlingua team as an Intern where I will be getting an opportunity to interact with the professionals along with the individuals.
The fifth step is to serve the people as it the part of my personality and is a must to do a thing for me to increase my self-confidence and self-satisfaction and I am keen on getting associated with an NGO to help the community with all I have to serve. After an Internship, I would like to get a job in order to achieve some corporate experience.

"LONG-TERM GOAL"- As an enthusiast about HAIRSTYLING and Makeup, I would like to start a salon as soon as possible, As it the goal of my life, not just a simple written long-term goal. 

Noe the question is why would you guys select me as a final Intern when my long-term goal is to start a business rather than becoming linguistic?
Well I am just a simple self-driven person who like to explore new things and "Modlingua" is a platform where I can interact with different culture(languages) and learn new things and I will give my because apart from just an Internship, this is a great platform for me to lean towards my long-term goal.



Version 2 - Corrected Version:

Firstly I would like to start with a Quote: " No matter how great you are, you never know your destiny".
As I believe in this quote I thought it would be nice to start with this. Now about my academic background: I am a BBA graduate in Marketing from IITM, New Delhi and right now I am pursuing my Post graduation from IPE, Hyderabad in International Business with the dual specialization in Operations and Marketing. As a fresher firstly I would like to gain some experience in the above-mentioned fields (Operations and Marketing) to get the idea about " So that's how it works" because I am a person who learns from doing things practically rather than just learn the definitions of the things.
Secondly, I would like to choose the desired field in which I really want to work on a professional front which will match the qualities and qualifications I have in order to perform well.
The third step would be to work along with the professionals who can help me grow in the corporate environment and keep me motivated to move forward rather than just stuck in the same place for the rest of my life.
Fourth and the most important step is the " IMPLEMENTATION". Right now I am pursuing my Post graduation as per the plan and would like to get an opportunity to work in the fields of Marketing(Creativity) and Operations for the rest of my life and I am really excited to work Modlingua along with the professionals as an Intern.
The fifth step is to serve the people as it is the part of my personality and is a must to do a thing for me to increase my self-confidence and self-satisfaction and I am keen on getting associated with an NGO to help or to serve the community with all the skills I have to serve. Recently I applied for the SBI Youth for India Internship programme which is a 13 months full-time Internship. After an Internship, I would like to get a job in Operations field in order to advance my corporate skills and gain some corporate world experience.

"  LONG-TERM GOAL"- As an enthusiast about HAIRSTYLING and Makeup, I would like to start a business( salon) as soon as possible.
As it is the prime goal of my life, not just a simple written long-term goal.

Now the question is why would you select me as a final intern when my long-term goal is to start a business rather than becoming linguistic?
Well I am just a simple self-driven person who likes to explore new things to get to know how things works and " Modlingua" is a platform for me where I can invest my time and interact with a different culture(Languages) and learn new things and I will give my best because apart from just an Internship, this is a great opportunity for me to lean towards my long-term goal as it demands the interaction between the two parties( Owner and the end user).


Improvement in syntax and sentence structure- 12 
Grammatical errors- 4
Total time-40 mins