Hrtika Sanjeev
My name is Hrtika and I am currently in the tenth standard at Heritage Xperiential Learning School, Gurugram. I’m pursuing my studies from the IGCSE board. Prior to this I was in a boarding school for two years and due to that, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. My academic performance has been fairly good and improving over the years.
I have been learning French for four years. I am also learning Korean online. I am fluent in English and Hindi. My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives that give me a wider view of the world. I have good time-management, organization, leadership skills and am a good team player. I have good communication and creative thinking skills.
I love getting to know about different cultures, mainly their languages. Music is an important aspect of all cultures and I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well.
I want to intern at Modlingua as I feel it would give me a deeper knowledge of languages and provide me with a new experience in management.
Career Goals
I am still in the process of defining my career goals. At the moment I want to explore different opportunities. I love meeting new people from different cultures. I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a big part of that. In the future, I want to do management, specifically celebrity management. The internship would allow me to learn about management and make me well-prepared for the future.
Assignment 1- Error Analysis
| Professional Profile | ||
| Version 1- Draft version | Version 2- Corrected version | Comments/Types of errors |
| My name is Hrtika and I am currently in the tenth standard at Heritage Xperiential Learning School, Gurugram. | ||
| I’m pursuing my studies from the IGCSE board | ||
| Prior to this I was in a boarding school for two years and due to that, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. | Before this, I was studying in a boarding school for two years and hence, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. | Check the choice of words. Comma after “this”. |
| My academic performance has been fairly good and improving over the years. | I am doing well academically and my performance is improving overtime. | Choice of words. |
| I have been learning French for four years. | I have been learning French for four years and I have been learning Korean online recently. | Choice of words. No need for separate sentences. |
| I am also learning Korean online. | ||
| I am fluent in English and Hindi. | ||
| My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives that give me a wider view of the world | My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives. | Highlighted part deleted. No need. |
| I have good time-management, organization, leadership skills and am a good team player. | Deleted | Not needed |
| I have good communication and creative thinking skills. | ||
| I love getting to know about different cultures, mainly their languages | I love getting to know about different cultures, especially the languages | Choice of words. |
| Music is an important aspect of all cultures and I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well. |
I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well which is why I want to learn more languages. | Highlighted word deleted. Not needed. Choice of words. Change in syntax. |
| I want to intern at Modlingua as I feel it would give me a deeper knowledge of languages and provide me with a new experience in management. | ||
| Career Goals | ||
| Version 1- Draft version | Version 2- Corrected version | Comments/Types of errors |
| I am still in the process of defining my career goals. | ||
| At the moment I want to explore different opportunities. | Currently, I want to explore different opportunities. | Choice of words. Comma after “Currently”. |
| I love meeting new people from different cultures. | I love meeting people from different cultures. | Highlighted part deleted. Not needed |
| I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a big part of that. | I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a major part of that. | Choice of words. |
| In the future, I want to do management, specifically celebrity management. | In the future, I would like to do management, specifically celebrity management. | Choice of words. |
| The internship would allow me to learn about management and make me well prepared for the future. | The internship would allow me to learn about management and prepare me for the future. | Sentence structure. |
Error Analysis
| Total Number of Source Text: 256 Total Number of Target Text: 221 |
|
| Errors related to articles | 0 |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 4 |
| Omissions | 4 |
| Spelling errors | 0 |
| Choice of words | 8 |
| Factual errors | 0 |
| Choice of words and overall consistency of those words | 4 |
| An eye for details | Payed clear attention to detail. |
| Page layout and overall presentation | Not applicable here |
Profile Photo: Draft Version
Dimensions: 478 x 648
Dimensions: 250 x 250
Additional comments if any: Many changes had to be made to the words used and this led to a better and clearer version.
Time taken to correct 256 words: 20 minutes
Time taken to prepare this evaluation report: 15 minutes
