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Join WhatsApp Channelassignment-01-Sarra
| Version 1- Draft Version I like mentally stimulating activities such like various creative outlets |
Version 2 – Corrected Version I like mentally stimulating activities such as various creative outlets: |
Comments/ Types of errors Typo, redundancy with “such” followed by “like” while meaning to type “as”. |
What could have been improved after reviewing:
I am an introvert through and through. I enjoy detail-oriented tasks and mentally-stimulating activities. I like mentally stimulating activities such as various creative outlets I would like to travel as a visiting scholar to Geneva, one of the world’s leading cities in translation to experience at first hand, the translation world on the international level. Becoming a recognized published translator for transferring a critically-approved publication to my First language |
I am an introvert 100% or I have an introverted personality. I enjoy detail-oriented tasks and mentally stimulating activities . Some of the creative outlets I resort to are.. Or I like intellectual activities such as various creative outlets… I would like to travel as a visiting scholar to Geneva, one the world’s leading cities in translation. I would love to experience, at first hand, the translation world on the international level. Becoming a recognized published translator for translating a critically-approved publication to my first language. |
Could have been expressed better There is a kind of redundancy with the expression “mentally stimulating” The sentence seems to run too long. It could have been divided into two sentences. Some punctuation editing is needed as well. Using “transferring” to mean “translating”. Capitalizing “First” was a typo. unnecessary |
Error AnalysisTotal
Number of Source Text: 504
Total Number of Target Text:505
| Errors related to articles | 0 |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 1 0 |
| Omissions | 0 |
| Spelling errors | 0 |
| Choice of words | 1 |
| Factual errors | 0 |
| Choice of words and overall consistency of those words | 0 |
| An eye for details | There is an eye for detail |
| Page layout and overall presentation | present |
| Profile Photo Quality | Acceptable The same picture submitted was used without editing. I would assume it is good quality |
| Additional comments if any | The team edited one mistake that I apologize for missing before submitting. The rest is my own corrections after reviewing it now. There is always room for improvement and I found this assignment quite enriching. The submission took longer than expected due to technical difficulties with the system. |
| Time taken to correct 504 words: | 05 Minutes |
| Time taken to prepare this evaluation report: | 15 Minutes |
Assignment 01_Tiziana Paloni
| ERROR ANALYSIS RUBRIC FOR SUMMER INTERNS OF MODLINGUA 2018 | ||
| Version 1 - Draft version | Version 2 - Corrected version | Comments / Types of errors |
| Brief profile | ||
| I am from Rome and I am a newbie in the industry of Translation. | Born and raised in Rome, I am a newbie in the industry of Translation. | Improvement in sentence structure. |
| […] gave me a well-rounded understanding of the cultures of the languages I chose to study. | [...] gave me a well-rounded understanding of the cultures tied to the languages I chose to study. | Improvement in sentence structure. |
| I decided to continue my career path in the field of Translation rather than Interpreting | I decided to continue my career path in the Translation field instead of Interpreting | Improvement in sentence structure and better words choice. |
| Moreover, I developed a strong interest in Fashion, and as a consequence a deep knowledge of fashion, clothing and textiles vocabulary. | Moreover, I developed a strong interest in Fashion, and as a consequence a deep knowledge of clothing and textiles vocabulary. | The second 'fashion' is redundant, deleted. |
| Last September I got a grant to attend the School of Advanced Technologies for Translators in Trento, the core of Italian academic research in the subfield of Translation Technology. | Last September I got a grant to attend the "School of Advanced Technologies for Translators" in Trento, core of Italian academic research in the subfield of Translation Technology. | Inverted commas needed; 'the' before 'core' deleted. |
| Career goals | ||
| “World travel worlds. Translators do the driving” is what the Italian translator, Anna Rusconi, said about this fantastic job. | “Words travel worlds. Translators do the driving”. This is what the Italian translator Anna Rusconi said about our fantastic job. | Typo in the quotation: 'world' mistyped for 'words'. Commas used to create the aside have been deleted and the entire sentence has been splitted in two to improve fluency. 'this' replaced with an inclusive 'our'. |
| I remember dreaming of being an Egyptologist to decipher hieroglyphics and translating them into Italian. | I remember dreaming of being an Egyptologist to decipher hieroglyphics and pretending to translate them into a strange Italian. | 'pretending to' and the adjective 'strange' have been added to stress the idea of a childish activity. |
| English and French in middle school, French and German in high school and I added Russian at University. | First English and French, then I added German in high school and Russian at University. | Improvement in syntax and sentence structure. |
| [...] guaranteeing a high level of quality in a highly technological translation environment. | [...] guaranteeing high quality standards in a cutting-edge technological environment. | Repetition ('high') deleted and better words choice. |
|
Error Analysis
|
||
| Total Number of Source Text: 592 | ||
| Total Number of Target Text: 608 | ||
| Errors related to articles | 1 | |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 1 | |
| Omissions | 0 | |
| Deletions (added category) | 3 | |
| Spelling errors | 1 | |
| Choice of words | 7 | |
| Factual errors | 0 | |
| Choice of words and overall consistency of those words | 7 | |
| An eye for details | Lacked attention for details | |
| Page layout and overall presentation | Missing | |
| Profile Photo Quality | A profile picture of 250x250 pixel size was required. I submitted a photo of 299x394. I had to edit it with Paint and in a couple of minutes I would have had the required size. | |
| Additional comments if any | Lots of improvement in the sentence structure was done in order to bring more clarity and coherence to text. | |
| Time taken to correct 592 words: | 15 Minutes | |
| Time taken to prepare this evaluation report: | 30 Minutes | |
