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Assignment 1 Hritika
Hrtika Sanjeev
My name is Hrtika and I am currently in the tenth standard at Heritage Xperiential Learning School, Gurugram. I’m pursuing my studies from the IGCSE board. Prior to this I was in a boarding school for two years and due to that, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. My academic performance has been fairly good and improving over the years.
I have been learning French for four years. I am also learning Korean online. I am fluent in English and Hindi. My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives that give me a wider view of the world. I have good time-management, organization, leadership skills and am a good team player. I have good communication and creative thinking skills.
I love getting to know about different cultures, mainly their languages. Music is an important aspect of all cultures and I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well.
I want to intern at Modlingua as I feel it would give me a deeper knowledge of languages and provide me with a new experience in management.
Career Goals
I am still in the process of defining my career goals. At the moment I want to explore different opportunities. I love meeting new people from different cultures. I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a big part of that. In the future, I want to do management, specifically celebrity management. The internship would allow me to learn about management and make me well-prepared for the future.
Assignment 1- Error Analysis
| Professional Profile | ||
| Version 1- Draft version | Version 2- Corrected version | Comments/Types of errors |
| My name is Hrtika and I am currently in the tenth standard at Heritage Xperiential Learning School, Gurugram. | ||
| I’m pursuing my studies from the IGCSE board | ||
| Prior to this I was in a boarding school for two years and due to that, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. | Before this, I was studying in a boarding school for two years and hence, I met many people from different cultures and backgrounds. | Check the choice of words. Comma after “this”. |
| My academic performance has been fairly good and improving over the years. | I am doing well academically and my performance is improving overtime. | Choice of words. |
| I have been learning French for four years. | I have been learning French for four years and I have been learning Korean online recently. | Choice of words. No need for separate sentences. |
| I am also learning Korean online. | ||
| I am fluent in English and Hindi. | ||
| My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives that give me a wider view of the world | My subjects include economics, development studies and global perspectives. | Highlighted part deleted. No need. |
| I have good time-management, organization, leadership skills and am a good team player. | Deleted | Not needed |
| I have good communication and creative thinking skills. | ||
| I love getting to know about different cultures, mainly their languages | I love getting to know about different cultures, especially the languages | Choice of words. |
| Music is an important aspect of all cultures and I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well. |
I feel knowing different languages would let me explore new cultures as well which is why I want to learn more languages. | Highlighted word deleted. Not needed. Choice of words. Change in syntax. |
| I want to intern at Modlingua as I feel it would give me a deeper knowledge of languages and provide me with a new experience in management. | ||
| Career Goals | ||
| Version 1- Draft version | Version 2- Corrected version | Comments/Types of errors |
| I am still in the process of defining my career goals. | ||
| At the moment I want to explore different opportunities. | Currently, I want to explore different opportunities. | Choice of words. Comma after “Currently”. |
| I love meeting new people from different cultures. | I love meeting people from different cultures. | Highlighted part deleted. Not needed |
| I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a big part of that. | I love exploring the various aspects of culture and language is a major part of that. | Choice of words. |
| In the future, I want to do management, specifically celebrity management. | In the future, I would like to do management, specifically celebrity management. | Choice of words. |
| The internship would allow me to learn about management and make me well prepared for the future. | The internship would allow me to learn about management and prepare me for the future. | Sentence structure. |
Error Analysis
| Total Number of Source Text: 256 Total Number of Target Text: 221 |
|
| Errors related to articles | 0 |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 4 |
| Omissions | 4 |
| Spelling errors | 0 |
| Choice of words | 8 |
| Factual errors | 0 |
| Choice of words and overall consistency of those words | 4 |
| An eye for details | Payed clear attention to detail. |
| Page layout and overall presentation | Not applicable here |
Profile Photo: Draft Version
Dimensions: 478 x 648
Dimensions: 250 x 250
Additional comments if any: Many changes had to be made to the words used and this led to a better and clearer version.
Time taken to correct 256 words: 20 minutes
Time taken to prepare this evaluation report: 15 minutes
Assingnment - 1 (revised)
Analysis of errors and omissions in content writing
| Version 1 (Draft version) |
Version 2 (Corrected version) |
Comments/Types of errors |
| Profile | ||
| Hi, I am Ramesh Kumar Singh and I am from Delhi. | Hi, I am Ramesh Kumar Singh and I am from Delhi. | No errors |
| Currently, I am doing service in Indian Air Force. | Currently, I am doing service in Indian Air Force. | No errors |
| As security to the nation is our primary concern but in addition, I perform task of legal aspect and translation work. | As security to the nation is our primary concern but in addition, I perform the task related to the legal domain and its translation. | Sentence correction |
| I have completed MBA in human resource management and LL.B. | I have completed MBA in human resource management and LL.B. | No errors |
| I am also pursuing LL.M from Kurukshetra University. | I am also pursuing LL.M from Kurukshetra University. | No errors |
| I have also undergone certificate in French language and information technology course from Air Force Institute. | I have also undergone certificate in French language and information technology course from Air Force Institute. | No errors |
| Recently, I have completed induction translation training from prestigious Central Translation Bureau, New Delhi. | Recently, I have completed induction translation training from prestigious Central Translation Bureau, New Delhi. | No errors |
| As the Government of India has made policy to use bilingual (Hindi-English) in every law, rule, regulations, orders or instructions for all organization in India. | As the Government of India has made policy to use bilingual (Hindi-English) in every law,rule,regulations, orders or instructions for all organization in India. | Comma correction |
| Therefore, my organization is also giving more thrust to cope up with the policy framed by the Government. | Therefore, my organization is also giving more thrust to cope up with the policy framed by the Government. | No errors |
| Thus my role as a translator becomes responsible and challenging. | Thus my role as a translator becomes responsible and challenging. | No errors |
| So I decided to utilize my time by doing internship at Modlingua. | So I decided to utilize my time by doing internship at Modlingua. | No errors |
| I thought Modlingua will be a good platform for me to brush up my skills and gain some professional knowledge and more exposure. | I thought Modlingua will be a good platform for me to brush up my skills and gain some professional knowledge and more exposure. | No errors |
| I feel, Working as an intern for Modlingua will be a great opportunity for me. | I feel, Working as an intern for Modlingua will be a great opportunity for me. | No errors |
| Talking about my hobbies, so I like to watch movies, to travel unknown places and doing adventures activities. | Talking about my hobbies, so I like to watch movies, to travel unknown places and doing adventures activities. | No errors |
| I also like to explore new things in this world. | I also like to explore new things in this world. |
No errors |
| Career Goal | ||
| I would like to develop my career as a professional in a demanding environment, to efficiently utilize as well as enhance my abilities through challenging jobs, where the results of my hard work and contribution could make an organization dynamic and growing and help me to become a better human being. |
I would like to develop my career as a professional in a demanding environment, to efficiently utilize as well as enhance my abilities through challenging jobs, where the results of my hard work and contribution could make an organization dynamic and growing and help me to become a better human being. |
No errors |
| I have always had a different set of interests ranging from economics to management, to law and to language learning. | I have always had a different set of interests ranging from economics to management, to law and to language learning. | No errors |
| After my higher secondary, I joined service in Indian Air Force which is a well reputed organization. | After my higher secondary, I joined service in Indian Air Force which is a well reputed organization. | No errors |
| This organization provided me ample opportunity to learn new skills as per my interest and to utilize these skills for the betterment and development of the organization. |
This organization provided me ample opportunity to learn new skills as per my interest and to utilize these skills for the betterment and development of the organization. |
No errors |
| After completing my MBA ,LL.B. and LL.M, I decided to learn translation work for the translation of policies, rules, regulations, orders and instructions of the organization which is needed nowadays because of the Government of India policies and therefore, I have undergone translation training from Central Translation Bureau, New Delhi. |
After completing my MBA, LL.B. and LL.M, I decided to learn translation work for the translation of policies, rules, regulations, orders and instructions of the organization which is needed nowadays because of the Government of India policies and therefore, I have undergone translation training from Central Translation Bureau, New Delhi. |
No errors |
| My current goal is to use my all knowledge and skills to build this organization a strongest one, thereby, contribution towards the Nation building. |
My current goal is to use my all knowledge and skills to build this organization a strongest one, thereby contribution towards the Nation building. |
Comma correction |
| To achieve my career goal, the project management training from internship of Modlingua will help immensely. | To achieve my career goal, the project management training from internship of Modlingua will help immensely. | No errors |
| I wish that my career goal of Organizational development for the Nation building will be achieved through this internship. |
I wish that my career goal of Organizational development for the Nation building will be achieved through this internship. |
No errors |
|
Error Analysis
Total Number of Source Text: 447Total Number of Target Text: 449 |
|
| Errors related to articles | 0 |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 4 |
| omissions | 2 |
| Spelling errors | 0 |
| Choice of words | 0 |
| Factual errors | 0 |
| Choice of words and over all consistency of those words | 1 |
| An eye for details | attention for details |
| Page layout and overall presentation | good |
| Profile Photo Quality | Not applicable here |
| Additional comments if any | Apart from above errors, improvement in the sentence structure was done in order to bring more clarity and coherence |
| Time taken to correct 254 words | 25 Minutes |
| Time taken to prepare this evaluation report | 20 Minutes |
