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Assignment 1 Vishal
- PROFESSIONAL PROFILE:
- Version 1 - Draft Version
My name is Vishal Upadhyay. I belong to Kanpur (Uttar Pradesh) and professionally living in Delhi. I completed my schooling from Kanpur, U.P. (ICSE Board). I did Master of Technology (M.Tech) from National Institute of Technology (NIT), Rourkela, Orissa. Before that I did Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech) in Mechanical Engineering.
During M.Tech, I had gone to present my research paper on “Assembly Sequence Generation and Automation” in an international conference held in Pune, where I met a professor who had came from Japan to present his paper works on Solar Energy. I had always been keen towards foreign languages and also being the part of Japanese Automotive industry. These scenarios developed my interest in Japanese language. After completing M.Tech, I joined University of Delhi (Department of East Asian Studies, DU) and studied full time Intensive Diploma Courses in Japanese language.
I had worked as a Mechanical Engineer in LML in the past and currently I am working in an IT consulting firm in Noida/Dehradun. I am also working with a Japanese language training institute in Dehradun (Uttarakhand) as a language trainer.
- Version 2 - Corrected Version
My name is Vishal Upadhyay. I belong to Kanpur (Uttar Pradesh) and professionally living in Delhi. I completed my schooling from Kanpur, U.P. (ICSE Board). I did Master of Technology (M.Tech) from National Institute of Technology (NIT), Rourkela, Orissa. Before that, I (puctuation: comma added in between) did Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech) in Mechanical Engineering.
During M.Tech, I had gone to present my research paper on “Assembly Sequence Generation and Automation” in an international conference held in Pune, where I met a professor who had came from Japan to present his paper works on Solar Energy. It was then that I first came into contact with Japan and its culture. (sentence added) I had always been keen towards foreign languages and also being the part of Japanese Automotive industry. These scenarios developed my interest in Japanese language. After completing M.Tech, I joined University of Delhi (Department of East Asian Studies, DU) and studied full time Intensive Diploma Courses in Japanese language.
I had worked as a Mechanical Engineer in LML in the past and currently I am working in an IT consulting firm in Noida/Dehradun. I am also working with a Japanese language training institute in Dehradun (Uttarakhand) as a language trainer.
(2) CAREER GOALS:
- Version 1 - Draft Version:
Japanese automotive, automation and manufacturing industry in the world is competent enough to attract any engineering or science graduate due to its advanced and latest technologies. So, I always had interest in Automotive Engineering. I have also been keen towards foreign languages. As such, after completing M.Tech in Industrial Design (Mechanical Engineering) from National Institute of Technology, (NIT) Rourkela (Orissa), I studied Intensive Diploma Courses in Japanese Language from University of Delhi (Department of East Asian Studies, DU).
I am currently working in IT consulting firm and along with that I’m also working as a Japanese language trainer in Dehradun. I am looking to build my core career as a bilingual engineer in Japanese firm.
In future, I would like to open an event management company that would also provide a platform to organize events focusing on Japanese natives residing in India or coming here as tourists.
I have also written a non fiction novel in English language, which is being published later this year. I’m also planning to get it published in three languages Hindi, English and Japanese simultaneously.
I seek every possible opportunity where I can enhance my language skills which in return can help me to deliver the best in terms of quality, temperament and efficiency. I feel excited to work with the Modlingua team as an Intern which will provide me a platform to interact with the individuals & professionals in the bilingual domain from various sectors and people from different cultures, languages, learn new things and enhance my language skill sets.
The internship program at Modlingua will also help me to improve my skills in business and marketing. With this internship, I can enhance my profile as translator and language professional.
- Version 2 - Corrected Version:
Japanese automotive, automation and manufacturing industry in the world is competent enough to attract any engineering or science graduate due to its advanced and latest technologies. So, I always had interest in Automotive Engineering. I have also been keen towards foreign languages. As such, after completing M.Tech in Industrial Design (Mechanical Engineering) from National Institute of Technology, (NIT) Rourkela (Orissa), I studied Intensive Diploma Courses in Japanese Language from University of Delhi (Department of East Asian Studies, DU).
I am currently working in an IT (grammar: “an” added) consulting firm and along with that I’m also working as a Japanese language trainer in Dehradun. I am looking to build my core career as a bilingual engineer in Japanese firm.
In future, I would like to open an event management company that would also provide a platform to organize events focusing on Japanese natives residing in India or visiting as tourists (choice of words).
I have also written a non fiction novel in English language, which is being published later this year. I’m also planning to get it published in three languages Hindi, English and Japanese simultaneously.
I seek every possible opportunity where I can enhance my language skills which in return can help me to deliver the best in terms of quality, temperament and efficiency. I feel excited to work with the Modlingua team as an Intern which will provide me a platform to interact with the professionals in the bilingual domain from various sectors, people from different cultures and languages (sentence structure), learn new things and enhance my language skill sets.
The internship program at Modlingua will also help me to improve my skills in business and marketing. With this internship, I can enhance my profile as translator and language professional.
ERROR ANALYSIS:
Total number of words before correction: 467
Total number of words after correction: 479
Errors related to articles: 0
Errors related to punctuations, symbols, signs, spaces: 1
Omissions: 0
Spelling errors: 0
Choice of words: 1
Factual errors: 0
Sentence added: 1
Sentence structure: 1
Profile photo quality: Profile picture of 250 x 250 pixel size was required. I had submitted the profile picture of 250 x 193 pixels. This was the only possible size I got to submit after editing the original picture that I had.
Assignment 1 Vidisha
| ERROR ANALYSIS RUBRIC FOR SUMMER INTERNS OF MODLINGUA 2018 Intern name- Vidisha Shah Assignment 1 |
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| Article Number 1 – Career Goals | Version 2- Corrected version of Career Goals | Comments/ Types of errors |
| I have always been highly interested in all things Finance and Business. Thus, my educational includes a Bachelors as well as a Masters in Commerce with a specialization in Business Management. However, all things cultural have always been my forte and that’s how I started learning the French language. Seen my love and passion for the French language and culture, I joined Alliance Française de Bombay and started learning French professionally. Today, I have successfully completed up to Level C1 and will be appearing for my DELF C1 examination in the month of June 2018. I also wish to expand my knowledge and love for languages and intend to add the Spanish language to my array of languages along with French and English. I will shortly be starting my Spanish language classes. |
I’ve always been highly interested in all things Finance and Business. Thus, my education includes a Bachelors as well as a Masters degree in Commerce with a specialization in Business Management. However, cultural concepts have always been my forté and that is when I started learning French. Seeing my love and passion for the French language and culture, I joined Alliance Française de Bombay and started learning French professionally. Today, I have successfully completed up to Level C1 and will be appearing for my DELF C1 examination in the month of June, 2018. I also wish to expand my knowledge and love for languages and intend to add Spanish to my array of languages along with French and English. I will shortly be starting my Spanish language classes. |
1) Grammatical 2) Spelling 3) Articles in unnecessary places 4) Informal language- all things, that’s how, seen 5) Comma after June 6) spelling of forte is worng |
| My career goal is to combine my knowledge of Business Management along with my love for languages and work as a Translator in this highly globalized professional world. On becoming a Translator I would like to specialize in Business and Commercial translations. In todays small world, as we call it, there are thousands of economic, business as well as financial transactions taking place in every nook and corner of the world and it is very important that we become aware and learn about the cultures that we are dealing with. Once we know the culture and language of a client, there tends to be a higher level of trust from the client and there is ease in conducting business operations. Thus, after much debate and research I have decided to enter into the lingual world and aspire to become a Professional Translator with the following language pairs: English, French and Spanish. | My career goal is to combine my knowledge of Business Management along with my love for languages and work as a Translator in this highly globalized, professional world. On becoming a Translator I would like to specialize in Business and Commercial translations. In todays small world, as we call it, there are thousands of economic, business as well as financial transactions taking place in every nook and corner of the world and it is very important that we become aware and learn about the cultures that we are dealing with. Once we know the culture and language of clients, there tends to be a higher level of trust from the client and it is easy to conduct business operations. Thus, after much debate and research I have decided to enter into the lingual world and aspire to become a Professional Translator with the following language pairs: English, French and Spanish. | 1) Comma missing after globalized 2) ‘a’ article not required for client 3) Sounds wrong- is ease |
| Some of my short-term objectives to achieve my career goal:
My long-term objective is to achieve the position of a Translator in either a large French multinational company or any French bank in India. As mentioned earlier, my goal is to combine my knowledge of languages and Commerce/Finance and to successfully mould myself to work as a Translator. |
Some of my short-term objectives to achieve my career goal:
My long0term goal is to achieve the position of a Translator in either a large French multinational company or any French bank in India. As mentioned earlier, my goal is to combine my knowledge of languages and Commerce/Finance and to successfully mould myself to work as a Translator |
1) Use of earn in first objective is wrong. 2) Third objective is repeated often 3) Use of word ‘objective’ is repeated |
| Taking you through my educational background, I have completed my schooling in the ICSE Board and then moved on to finish my 12th standard in the HSC Board. After12th, I completed my Bachelors in Commerce from Mithibai College, Mumbai University wherein we had several Accounting subjects such as Financial Accounts, Cost Accounts, Management Accounts as well as Direct and Indirect Taxation. After completing my Bachelors in Commerce (B.Com), I am currently pursuing my Masters in Commerce (M.Com) with a specialization in Business Management from Narsee Monjee College, Mumbai University. Along with my B.Com and M.Com, I have completed level A1, A2, B1, B2 and C1 at Alliance Française de Bombay and have also successfully attempted and cleared DELF A1, A2,B1 and B2 examinations. After completing my M.Com and DELF C1 examination, I wish to pursue my Masters in Translation from a prestigious University in France so that I am able to efficiently train and qualify myself to become a professional translator. | A brief on my educational background, I’ve completed my schooling in ICSE Board and then moved on to finish my 12th standard in HSC Board. After 12th, I completed my Bachelors in Commerce from Mithibai College, Mumbai University wherein we had several Accounting subjects such as Financial Accounts, Cost Accounts, Management Accounts as well as Direct and Indirect Taxation. After completing my Bachelors in Commerce (B.Com), I am currently pursuing my Masters in Commerce (M.Com) with a specialization in Business Management from Narsee Monjee College, Mumbai University. Along with my B.Com and M.Com, I have completed level A1, A2, B1, B2 and C1 at Alliance Française de Bombay and have also successfully attempted and cleared DELF A1, A2, B1 and B2 examinations. After completing my M.Com and DELF C1 examination, I wish to pursue my Masters in Translation from a prestigious University in France so that I am able to efficiently train and qualify myself to become a professional translator. | 1) Better way of starting the paragraph instead of ‘taking you through’ 2) Wrong use of article ‘the’ 3) Wrong spacing after 12th 3) Wrong spacing in name of examinations |
| Error Analysis- Total Number of Source Text: 540 Total Number of Target Text: 540 |
|
| Errors related to articles | 7 |
| Errors related to punctuation, symbols, signs, spaces | 4 |
| Omissions | 4 |
| Spelling errors | 1 |
| Choice of words | 3 |
| Factual errors | 0 |
| Choice of words and over all consistency of those words | Good |
| An eye for details | Lacked attention for details such as articles and repetition of ideas. |
| Page layout and overall presentation | Good |
| Profile Photo Quality | Not applicable here |
| Additional comments if any | Not applicable here. |
| Time taken to correct 540 words | 30 Minutes |
| Time taken to prepare this evaluation report | 30 Minutes |
